The post I am going to post next is something I wrote some time ago, right when I went to the music festival. That was four weeks ago. When I first arrived, I didn’t have internet, and so I didn’t really have anything to do. I’d been afraid for a while of a lot of things, and suddenly they came spilling out. I was away from home for the longest time I’d ever been away from home — not that I was homesick, it was just the change. That compounded with nothing to do and some unexplainable factors just makes me feel depressed for some reason.
I apologize for the personal nature of the work and realize that it might be difficult to read due to that, but at the same time I feel as if feelings like what I had are the kind of feelings that people do face fairly often. When those feelings come, they are crippling. We all are afraid of a lot of things. Some of these things are silly — when I look at my post I realize that the things I was afraid of were pretty silly and stuff I shouldn’t have been afraid of at all.
But while they eat at us, these fears are very real.
We need to do what has to be done — go on in spite of our fears. Acknowledge our own weaknesses rather than avoid them.
And by going on and walking through our fears we can master them.
I’ve stalled posting it for a while, but it needs to be said. Honesty, especially about struggles, is very very hard but I need to be better at it.
By the way, I found myself accepted, and fitting in well. And I did have a chance — I performed once in public and it was okay, though not great. What matters is that I performed, got experience, learned stuff, and will do better in the future. I learned so much, and hopefully I am a better musician for it. I even had fun. A lot of it.
I know that some of my friends from the music festival may be reading this. If you are, then thank you.
Thank you for everything.
The post in question is going up tomorrow.
All photos are under a CC license and used with permission. Click photos for credits.