Skills

People have told me that college is a privilege. It is a time period where the individual learns the skills necessary to go out into the “real world” (or rather, preparation for 3 more graduate schools so they can then have the necessary skills to go into the real world). It is also a time period where the individual learns how to live independently and responsibly, while hiding the evidence of weekend drunkenness when the parents come to visit. So after three and a half months of college, I realize that there are important skills that I learned how to do, as well as important skills I have not learned how to do.

I need more of these.

I suppose that all of the wonderful things I’ve learned at college will benefit me in later life. However, I have the feeling that the wonderful things that I have NOT learned how to do will be the ones that I will really need to know how to do. And will be the ones that I wish I’d learned how to do when I’m starving in a gutter somewhere.

Wonderful things I’ve learned this first semester:

  • First species counterpoint
  • Harmonic analysis
  • How to correctly draw clefs that are pretty
  • Social learning theory
  • The social construct of gender
  • How society is forming us to think with a gender bias
  • How to beg and plead (and bow and scrape) to get extra credit in various classes
  • How to do three things at the same time; namely, listening to lecture, evaluating the professor’s appearance, and finishing up homework from another class
  • Freedom in Christianity
  • The Council of Chalcedon
  • How Boethius kind of sucks
  • How St. Augustine is amazing
  • How my philosophy professor’s daughters are OH SO CUTE AND AMAZING
  • Human happiness in the consolation of philosophy
  • Xenophanes and Plato on Homeric ideology
  • How Slavin food is greatly superior to Ray food
  • How food in Ray on the weekends sucks
  • That “sucks” is actually a curse word
  • Procrastination (because I’m supposed to be studying for a final tomorrow)
  • How to make my professors laugh and then do headdesks and facepalms.
  • How to make my piano teacher exhausted
  • How to make my piano teacher stare at me like I’m insane
  • How to stand in line to get my card swiped so I can eat
  • How to buy things online with my credit card (well, maybe that doesn’t count)
  • How to check my email on outlook (stupid, stupid microsoft)
  • Greatly improved my writing skills (curse you, civ)
  • Cadences and arpeggios
  • Solfege
  • Sight-singing in a minor key
  • Articulation
  • What a cakewalk is

Things I have not learned:

  • How to cook
  • How to make a consistently good cup of instant noodles where the noodles aren’t rubber
  • How to use a copy machine without jamming it in 16 different places (copy machines hate me)
  • How to clean
  • How to use the laundry machines without making my clothes all bubbly because I used too much soap
  • How to walk down the stairs without falling
  • Second species counterpoint
  • Calculus
  • Sleep
  • Naps

So anyway, like I said, I’m not sure that the knowledge of the superiority of Slavin food to Ray food will help me when I’m starving out in a gutter somewhere. Neither will my skills in making my piano teacher stare at me like I’ve lost my marbles. Sadly. It does say something about me that I can’t even make a proper cup of instant noodles.

But if headdesks were dollars, I’d be rich.

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