Reading Material Needed

CB068378Finals are just about almost over. I’ll be able to go to the library again! However, I need some new reading material. Desperately. I’ll take all recommendations. I don’t like chick lit though.

So I was flipping through Christian Book Distributors (CBD)‘s catalogue looking at their novels to see if there was anything good. They have a lot of romance novels. Their romance is mostly Amish, it seems. I like a good romance novel now and then. However, this stuff can be just as bad as the trashy drugstore paperbacks. No, they’re not naughty. But they’re often badly written, with cheesy titles and unrealistic plots and half developed characters.

a-bride-in-the-bargainFor example, there’s a A Bride in the Bargain.

In 1860s Seattle, a man with a wife could secure himself 640 acres of timberland. But because of his wife’s untimely death, Joe Denton finds himself about to lose half of his claim. Still in mourning, his best solution is to buy one of those Mercer girls arriving from the East. A woman he’ll marry in name but keep around mostly as a cook. Anna Ivey’s journey west with Asa Mercer’s girls is an escape from the griefs of her past. She’s not supposed to be a bride, though, just a cook for the girls. But when they land, she’s handed to Joe Denton and the two find themselves in a knotty situation. She refuses to wed him and he’s about to lose his land. With only a few months left, can Joe convince this provoking–but beguiling–easterner to be his bride?

I have never read this book but I hope that it’s not as awful as Sadie Rose. Some Christian romance novel writers can write a story and make it GOOD. I’ve read a few. But some can’t.

Lori Wick can’t.

0736913246Before I go on, I’ll admit that I liked The Princess very much. I wouldn’t mind reading it again. However, The Knight and the Dove was terrible. What kind of name is Bracken?

From Wikipedia: 

Evolutionarily, bracken may be considered to be one of the most successful ferns. It is also one of the oldest, with fossil records of over 55 million years old having been found. The plant sends up large, triangular fronds from a wide-creeping underground rootstock, and may form dense thickets. This rootstock may travel a metre or more underground between fronds. The fronds may grow up to 2.5 m (8 ft) long or longer with support, but typically are in the range of 0.6-2 m (2-6 feet) high. In cold environments bracken is winter-deciduous, and, as it requires well-drained soil, is generally found growing on the sides of hills.

I honestly never understood anything the heroine, Megan, did. She kept running off into random places. Like, as if that was the safest thing to do! Plus getting kidnapped multiple times. Along with an envious, beautiful, and insane older sister… oh dear. Urggghhh! This story is set during the time of Queen Elizabeth. Lori Wick may be a famous Christian novelist but I feel that her dialogue and the way she draws her characters are extremely stilted at times. 

I also cannot take a man named Bracken seriously. 

9780736925303Her book The Rescue was also pretty awful as well.

Anne Gardiner struggles living as a gentleman’s daughter on a pauper’s means. When wealthy Robert Weston comes visiting, Anne accidentally topples from a ladder into his arms. Her eccentric father, the “Colonel,” demands honor and a hasty “marriage” for Anne. Her reputation tarnished by rumors and the Colonel’s accounts of events, Anne and Robert search for solutions. Is a real marriage the answer?

I didn’t understand it. At all. Lori Wick loves having accidental wives/husbands who start hating each other (or not knowing each other) and end up loving each other very much in the end. I can’t figure out why. The Princess was about an arranged marriage between royalty and a commoner. The Knight and the Dove was a political marriage that turned into Twu Wuv. But you won’t believe this one. 

Our heroine is something of a goody two-shoes. She’s perfect and good and beautiful and kind and all the people in the old English village love her. She takes care of her father who is not right in the head. One day she is fixing the roof and falls into the arms of a handsome stranger. Her father sees and proceeds to take them to the town hall to get them married right away. They do, to humor him. Apparently it’s actually all playacting but the poor strangers doesn’t know that. Then the dad goes and ruins her reputation by talking about it all over town. So she ends up actually married to the handsome stranger (who also happens to be rich and God-fearing as well as handsome). But he doesn’t want anything to do with her. But she is perfect and good and beautiful and kind and slaves over his enormous mansion, somehow managing to clean it in a matter of days.

Twu Wuv.

Happee ending.

n271687CBD also carries the equivalent of Harlequin romances. It’s called Heartsong Presents. I got a free book from there called Double Deception and it was one of the worst books I ever read. I was going to satirize it in my Perfect Lady blog but I realized that I begged my grandma (who can’t tell the difference between bad writing and good writing) to take it off my hands so I don’t have it anymore. 

But there you have it. As I said, I want recommends. I like a good romance/fantasy/sci fi now and then. I occasionally read non-fiction if it’s funny.

Thanks in advance!!!

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2 thoughts on “Reading Material Needed

  1. I wrote a novel that I thought was good, but on the basis of your interests I’m not sure if it would be your thing… if you like funny non-fiction, have you ever read the book ‘1066 and all that’?

    God Bless,

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