Tips for fundraising

Here are my wonderful tips for fundraising for the 30 hour famine. Follow them, and you will, um, be met with success. Um, hopefully.

1. Practice what you’re going to say beforehand, talking to yourself in the mirror. People like it if you don’t stammer. Smooth is good. What’s better is that you may convince yourself to donate money as well. 

2. Be persistent. This doesn’t mean that you should ask the same person over and over again (“Please donate money think of the poor starving children think of poor things for goodness sake how can you be so selfish look at all this God will punish you nag nag nag”) but you should keep asking people. Even if one of them says no and you want to sink into the floor. Keep on asking different people.

Of course, there was the time I begged and begged my grandma to donate and she kept on saying no. My grandfather was driving (we were in the car) and a truck came out of nowhere and hit us. My grandma donated because she thought the hand of God hath smited her.

3. Be kind and respectful. Don’t rant. Or nag.

4. Just do it. Can’t hurt to ask the grouchy lady who stares at you as if you came from the nuthouse (if she’s staring at you like that you probably have a piece of your lunch between your teeth). It’s for a good cause.

5. Don’t recite your spiel in a monotone. You don’t want to look/sound like a robot. And people might think that you really don’t want to do it. If you don’t want to do it, that’s another story. I probably forced you to do it. Talk to me.

6. I recommend making a list of people to ask, and tackling it. And then rewarding yourself by … I don’t know but I’m sure you can think of some creative things.

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