Breathe

Waiting for Yale and Brown’s decisions this afternoon. I’m on the edge of my seat.

Funny thing. I have to keep on reminding myself that even if I don’t get into Yale or Brown, I still have reason to be proud of myself.

Breathe…

 

ps: Didn’t get into either but that’s ok.

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View of Silence

I misjudged myself again. I seem to do that a lot. A couple of days ago, I got a big envelope from Boston College.

Inside there was a huge booklet with “BOSTON COLLEGE WELCOMES YOU” in enormous letters. There was a letter with textured, cream-colored paper. It began,

Dear _____

I am delighted to offer you admission to the College of Arts and Sciences at Boston College. Based on your academic …. blah blah about my achievements

I think that I didn’t expect that I’d be accepted into this college. Am I going to it? We’ll have to see about that… and also when the financial aid comes in. But for now, I’m basking in the ego boost it gave me.

But that’s not all. 

I received another two big envelopes. The first was the financial aid package from NYU. The second was the financial aid package from Providence College. 

NYU offered me a lot of money and offered to give me more if I transferred my National Merit first choice to them instead of BC.

Apparently PC offered me their St. Dominic scholarship. Only 30 people a year get this scholarship, and I was one of them. It’s full tuition for all four years. I would have to stay on campus (fine with me) and be with the Liberal Arts Honors program. (Fine with me as well.) If I graduate from the program successfully… it would look very very very good. Especially when I apply to graduate schools. 

I am just blown away.

My friend asked me, “So what do you think God has been teaching you through this process?”

I was silent for a while. 

I haven’t told him yet. 

But I believe that I shouldn’t doubt God. If God wants me to go somewhere, then he will help me go into that college. However I don’t think it’s just a case of doubting that God would get me there. It’s a case of worrying that God doesn’t want me to go anywhere.

I see now that that’s pretty stupid. 

*shrugs*

I think I’ll just sit here and be blown away for a while.

God is good.

Tribute to a very dear friend

My first memories of Vivien were of when she first came to our church. She was living with Aaron and Amos and I remember that she was very serious, wore glasses, and did not smile much.

I also remember her as my small group leader when I first joined 11:28 fellowship. I really liked how she led the discussion. Somehow she always found time to talk about our weeks and collect prayer requests as well as discuss what we had learned that night.

For a brief time this past year, Vivien would take me out regularly to Panera and we’d have a Bible study and afterwards go window-shopping. Now, I’m not much of a window-shopper. I’m not much of a shopper, period. But I really enjoyed these times. It was really quite humorous sometimes. We have different styles of clothes and different tastes. Vivien would take random clothes and say, “That would look soooo good on you!” And I’d say, “uhhh…. I do not think so…. uhhh….” 

I’m going to miss our times together now that Vivien is heading back to Hong Kong. But there’s another thing. Vivien seemed to be on a quest to help me become more feminine. She’d give me advice on makeup and clothes. In fact she recommended that I should start wearing eye cream so I wouldn’t get permanent bags under my eyes. But now that she’s going back to Hong Kong… who’s going to give me advice on how to make myself beautiful?

Vivien, I’m going to miss you. However, I’m very thankful that God put you into my life and that I got to know you and be your friend. God bless you wherever you go, whether you stay in Hong Kong, or whether you eventually come back to RI and be with us again. Keep in touch! Because I will. I love you!

Who am I?

It is very hard to define oneself.

Who am I?

I am an imperfect person living in an imperfect world. I am trying to make the most if it, wherever I go and whatever happens.

What do I do?

I write. I get writer’s block. Then I write again. I am a musician with a fondness for piano music and dark chocolate. I read. Most fantasy and science fiction, though recently I’ve branched out to include fashion blogs. I am currently deciding what I want to be.

I am a dreamer and an idealist.

What makes me happy?

Classical music. Good writing. Cats. Chocolate. Trips to the library. Writing. I also love sunshine and flowers and rain. And laughter.

And finally, though not least important, I serve God and others (in that order) with all my heart and soul. 

Peace out.

❤ 2009

Thoughts on Love

Some thoughts I had today on reading a blog post…

I think we all need love, whether we deserve it or not… whether we deserve it or not is irrelevant (sorry my spelling sucks) because when you think about it, who has had the perfect relationship? Who is perfect, anyway? No one, except God… the beauty of love is that it can be given to anyone no matter where that person is in life… no matter if that person is deserving of it or not. And if you really think about it… not many, if any, are deserving of it. I don’t know if that makes sense. 

Listen to the Silence

There are some days when everything goes wrong. I feel depressed, unmotivated. The words on paper don’t look as good as they did in my head. I can’t set the right tone with an article. It’s just not good enough. The printer keeps on jamming and facebook gives me proxy errors. I get inspired, only to lose the thought moments later. I’m tired, frustrated, and ready to quit this project. 

During these moments, what should I do?

I sit down again, take a deep breath, and continue writing.

 

ps: Reading too much Oprah makes me feel sick after a while.