Inspiration Station

Inspiration strikes at the wrong moments.

I was thinking about my next blog post. I thought about a really awesome idea. It was totally PWNing as my friend Rob likes to say. You’d have loved it.

Then I forgot what it was when I sat down at the computer to blog. 

I just love how memory works sometimes… how you’d think of something awesome that you’d like to tell your friends… and then you forget.

And then it pops back into your mind when you’re taking a shower. Or when you’re lying awake at 2 AM in the morning. At the most inconvenient times!

I sometimes wish inspiration would strike me when I’m sitting in front of the computer, or at least near pen and paper.

Not when I’m pooping! Please, NO!

LALALALALAAAA

What makes you happy?

Chocolate makes me happy.

Gingerbread Wookiiees make me happy. 

Yelling at the “teh spamrs” makes me happy as well. For some reason it gives me a kick. Like drugs. Like cocaine. Only I wouldn’t know, never having tried the latter. And hopefully I never do. That would be bad.

But I can’t explain it. I kind of feel this sense of satisfaction (or fuzzy feeling, if you will) from telling them “please don’t spam.” or “I don’t care if you have a lover.” “Yes, you really need to learn grammar”.

Spam is annoying. Spam is very annoying. Most of them are hit and run spammers anyway. I was chatting with my friends on this chat thread on this forum I frequent, and spammers like to jump in and say, “ajdljafjio” or “*smilie*” or “I need a lover! I am a single and lonely woman.” 

And then I’ll say, “Your cat needs to stop walking on the computer.” “smilie back, use words?” or “I don’t care if you don’t have a lover. Does this look like a dating site?”

It’s all good.

Peace out.

 

Spam Wars: Episode II

“Attack of the Teen Spamrz”

Hello everyone. This is our second installment in the Spam Wars series. This episode is from the point of view of a teenage spammer on a facebook application’s discussion board. Please read and enjoy! The translation is the second half of the post, btw. I’m not even going to go into how hard it was to type.

hi! im 12 yrs old n a femle! i luv my spp pet and i luv 2 go 2 teh spp pet frum! i also luv 2 pst clik me 2 get coins!!?1 i sre luv gettn coins.so does my pett. hez kewt. i luv gettin coins so mch dat i wll post 10 tmes in a row! wen i get mre coins im hppy…

ill tell u wut hppned teh odder dy. i wuz psting lyk i usullay do n someon treathned 2 rport me. %&(^*(& stpid prson &*%&(  tey dun no wut teyr takkin bout!1 teh nxt day, i found lots of my coins gne.i gt angryy n cmplained. 1 of teh so clled embessadoors came n told me y. but i coodnt unnerstnd her wrds. tey were 2 hrd 4 me. 

honestly wut iz rong wit ppl sometims?? tey, lyk, need a lif. tis forum iz 4 cliks and tings.

c u rund! i will nxt b postin up snpyshoots of my habi, 15 tyms in a rw!!!

————————————————

Hi! I’m 12 years old and a female! I love my superpoke pet, and I love to go to the superpoke pet forum! I also love to post “click me” to get coins! I sure love getting coins. So does my pet. He’s cute. I love getting coins so much that I will post it 10 times in a row! When I get more coins, I’m happy. 

I’ll tell you what happened the other day. I was posting like I usually do, and someone threatened to report me. ^&R%^&* stupid person!!! $^*(&!!! They don’t know what they’re talking about! The next day, I found a lot of my coins gone. I got angry and complained. One of the so called ambassadors came and told me why. But I couldn’t understand her words. They were too hard for me. 

Honestly, what’s wrong with people sometimes?? They, like, need a life! This forum is for clicks and things. 

See you around! I will next be posting up snappyshots of my habitat, 15 times in a row!!!

 

habitat

 

Moral? Learn to read. It helps.

Spam Wars: Episode I

“The Lonely Menace”

This would be an entry in the diary of a spammer. Due to the massive amounts of spam posted on a forum/discussion board I frequent, I thought I would make a humorous series called “Spam Wars.” This is the first episode. There will be two more. Stay tuned and enjoy! 

The alarm rings. I wake up in bed to yet another dreary day. The sun is shining, the birds are singing, yet I feel desolate. For I am alone.

Yes, alone, for there is no lover to comfort me or keep me warm at night. There’s no one to come home to after a bad day (in fact, I stay home all the time because I cannot bear the thought). I am here, waiting for my lover to come and sweep me off my feet and take me away from this dreary existence into a life of love, romance, and adventure.

I turn on the computer and check my facebook and myspace for any messages from any of the random men I added the night before. As always, there is nothing. Before checking eHarmony, I stop and look at my Superpoke Pet. He looks just as lonely and sad as I do. 

Finally, I remember to check the Superpoke Pets forum. I post a quick message communicating my availability. As I read it over, my eyes well up with tears, for it accurately describes my loneliness and desperation. 

“i m a sngle and loneley woman. i need a LUVER”

How can people be so callous? Already I see replies which are clearly mocking me. “This is not a dating site. Please do not post this.” or, “I could care less if you had a lover. Why don’t you spend your time bettering this world instead of going around looking desperately for a lover??”

Their words wound me to the depths of my soul. Why can’t they understand? A boy + girl = LIFE. There is no question about that. Without a boyfriend, there can be no life. There can only be sadness. Life is not worth living without that partner. 

It has been 3 days now since I’ve had a boyfriend. I do not know how much longer I can hold out. Please – if anyone is out there – help me. I cannot bear the thought of being alone for much longer.

 

habitat-11

————–

 

Moral? eHarmony is better at finding you a mate than Superpoke Pets.

Whatever did you learn in bio??

I had a strange conversation with a friend of mine one night.
Me: I can’t believe I’m almost ___.
Her: Oh wait. That means I’m 11 years older than you.
Me: Yeah.
Her: I feel so OLD.
Me: haha
Her: I’m SERIOUS!!!
Me: … huh?
Her: I should be having babies by now!
Me: I don’t think you need to worry… a lot of people in our church are having babies later
Her: Abby, it’s not like people can have babies whenever they want to!!!
Me: … what?
Her: Whatever did you learn in biology??
Me: Yeah… what did I learn?

 

Gotta love those weird conversations.  

 

 

 

 

All I want for my birthday

My birthday is coming up! 

So…. I have to think about what I want for it.

This I already got. It’s coming through the mail. 

mightymugg-chewbacca

 

or this:

328278_gsvadr

or this: 

mr_darthmaulfxlightsaber350

 

or this:

10000366

 

But what I truly want is for Henry to treat me like a real person once and not like his secretary. I’d like him to actually take the time to talk to me like a friend and not like the little person who’s just around to be his secretary. I’d like him to value me as who I am and not as some girl who’s just around to run his errands. 

I’d really really like him to give me the gift that he’s promised me for two months. And the postcard he’s promised for at least that long as well. He keeps on “forgetting”… I wish he’d not be forgetful, just this once. 

I think it’s too much to ask.

Peace out.